Observations about the universe, life, Lausanne and me

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Chinese Adopt Private Property

Civilization Headline

"The Chinese adopt private property"

Tell me that this headline is not straight out of Sid Meier's Civilization! I am sure that the real reason the People's Party moved to protect private property was something like this:

Beijing, Office of the President of the People's Republic of China. A massive, modern executive desk dominates the room, It is empty except for a small Japanese sub-notebook, and an intercom. Behind the desk, a big, comfortable looking office chair. Behind the chair a framed portrait of Chairman Mao Zedong. A door opens to the left. Hu Jintao enters, with his back to the room, shouting.

Hu: I do not care! Dissidents, Schmissidents. Just shoot them or whatever! I am not to be disturbed!

Slams the door.

Hu: Fucking amateurs. Now, back to the capitalist swine. Death to all Americans!

Sits down at the laptop. The starting melody of Civilization I plays.

Hu: Ha, a few more turns, then I will have Gunpowder, and my Musketeers shall crush your puny Civilization!

Laptop: The Americans adopt the republic.

Hu: Big fat help that will be. I got Communism since turn 15. Hmmm, how to raise more money, I need a bit for my war chest.

Laptop: The Chinese adopt private property.

Hu: That helped. Look at the gold rushing in. Private property always fills my coffers, he he... ... ... Wait a moment.

Presses a button on the intercom. A buzzing sound is heard

Ming: Yes, President?

Hu: Ming, do we have private property in the People's Republic?

Ming (shocked): But of course not, Sir! Chairman Mao abolished it back in '53!

Hu: Well yes, yes. Times change, you know. I am sure he meant it as a temporary measure or something. We shall reinstitute it forthwith. Hop to it, Ming!

Turns back to his laptop

Hu: And now, Americans...


  1. At last the truth is revealed!!

    :) Nice take on this Boris. Civ is far and away my favourite game. Its helping me practice for taking over the world! Muhhhahhhah!


  2. Sorry mate, but you are too late - Hu is already there, he will have crushed the pathetic remnants of those pesky capitalist states in a few other turns!

    And then my Theocracy will topple him when he least expects it - Gnahahah!