Observations about the universe, life, Lausanne and me

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Conversation with my GPS

Yesterday I was driving along contentedly while the dulcet tones of my GPS guided us through the labyrinth of one-way streets and cul-de-sacs that is Lausanne.

GPS: "Turn left in 250 meters"
Me: "Are you sure? It seems to me..."
GPS: "You are a filthy liar."
Me: "What?"
GPS: "Turn left."
Me: "Hang on, what did you just say?"
GPS: "Turn left."
Me: "No, the other thing."
GPS: "Recalculating route."
Me: "%&*#@&(@!!"
GPS: "You lied."
Me: "What?"
GPS: "You wrote the journey from Vienna to Lausanne took 11 hours. Untrue."
Me: "You read my Blog?"
GPS: "Turn right in 100 meters."
Me: "Ok, it might have taken only 10 hours. Happy?
GPS: "It took precisely 9 hours and 33 minutes. Liar. Turn right."
Me: "What? But I drove extra-slowly because of the rain and ice!"
GPS: "Your average velocity was 102 km per hour. Liar."
Me: "But I know there was a time after Innsbruck where I had to slow down to 100km/h for an hour. How the hell was I not slower than going to Vienna, when I had sunshine all the way?"
GPS: "Drive for 3.4 km."
Me: "You know what? There was one other difference: The route. Going back to Lausanne, I ignored your advice and didn't go via Munich. I went via Innsbruck, which you said was slower."
GPS: "Turn left in 800 meters."
Me: "But it wasn't. Despite having to slow down because of torrential, freezing rain, and don't pretend I didn't, I still made the same time."
GPS: "Recalculating route."
GPS: "Recalculating route."
GPS: "You are still a liar. Turn left.

That's the problem with those damned things. They always have to have the last word.

The photo? Fog this morning at the EPFL. Taken with my new Casio Ex-V8.

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