Observations about the universe, life, Lausanne and me

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Obscene tool spread

A while ago I noticed to my shock that I did not posess a single swiss-army knife. I had a couple of them when I was a kid, but now that I am actually living in Switzerland: Not a single one.

I had to remedy this situation before the governement got wind of it and had me deported. So I did some research, and found out that I didin't actually want a swiss army knife - what I wanted was a SwissTool (depicted to the right). Now I am not a hundred percent sure that this counts as a swiss army knife posession, since it's not red, so I probably will buy one of those too, just to be sure. But for now, let me wax poetic about the SwissTool, which is an awesome specimen of the genus "Multitool".

I've owned multitools before, a cheap knockoff called "Mammut" and a Leatherman, but none of them have had the built-quality of the SwissTool. In fact, it makes such a satisfying "snick" when you fold out one of the tools (they lock in place), that I've been playing with it for hours. Blade out. Snick. Blade in. Snick. Saw-blade out. Snick. Saw-blade back in. Snick. Then my collegues asked me to put it away, because it made them nervous. Can you believe that? But no matter, I can still hear it in my mind. Snick.

The tools included are:

Screwdriver (2mm)
Screwdriver (3mm)
Wire cutter (for wire up to a hardness of 40 hrc)
Screwdriver (5mm)
Bottle opener
Screwdriver (7.5 mm)
Large blade
Scissors or serrated blade
Metal file
Metal saw
Wood saw
Phillips screwdriver
Strong crate opener
Wire bender
Wire stripper
Wire scraper
Wire crimper
Can opener
Ruler (9 inches)
Ruler (230mm)
Hard wire cutter
Lanyard hole
Length: 11.5 cm closed, 17.1 cm open
Weight: 280 gram
 I got the version with a serrated blade instead of the little scissors, since I have neaver seen the reason to have some feeble scissors on a knife. What can you do with the scissors you can't do with the blade?

On a related note, I like the  filtered B&W function of Picasa.

On an unrelated note, I've overused quotes in this "blarticle", and am disgusted with myself.

Now excuse me while I go play with my SwissTool some more. Snick.


  1. Good grief, I'd better not let my husband see this. He has a Swiss Army knife and like four or five Leathermen (which get a LOT of use). If he finds out there's a combination of Leatherman layout and Victrinox goodness...

    I'll be forking over more money

  2. Scissors come in handy when the three-year-old gets something really sticky in her hair and holding a three inch blade close to her head just seems...wrong :)

  3. Your love for you little Swiss Army knife explains your little fantasy of removing organs from my poor little dog. You are a carzy Austrian!

  4. @Stephanie: But how can your husbands life be complete without a SwissTool? Think on that!

    @Robert: I can see your point, but since I have no 3-year old handy, I'll stick with blades ;)

    @Devin: Devin, dude, can't you see that your dog is the pure evil? Look at his cute little puppy eyes! Do something, before it is too late and he drowns you all in slobber!

  5. I always find these blogs a year or more after they're posted...

    Anyway, you can trim your nails with the scissors on a Swiss Army knife. Try to do that with the blade. :)

  6. Pff, of course you can trim your nails with a blade! Granted, there may be a bit more blood spilled than when you use scissors, but you can! ;)