Observations about the universe, life, Lausanne and me

Monday, March 23, 2009

Excessive Force

Sometimes, when you pump down your reactor, you don't get the base pressure you think you are entitled to. Now, this is either and indication of your overblown, consumerist expectations that will be the downfall of us all, or you have a leak somewhere.  Since all know that consumerism is all that keeps the failed, capitalist system limping along (at least until you are ready to take over the world), you ignore possibility #1 and go with the leak-theory.
The first thing to do is tightening all the nuts on the seals - maybe one of the seals has not settled squarely in its groove?
The second thing to do is to notice that maybe you shouldn't have tightened the nuts too much, especially those holding  your big glas window in place. Yes, those that shows those fascinating cracks in the glass underneath the clamps. Insert a short episode of argueing with yourself about the relative merits of thinking things over versus the frantic-monkey approach and your general level of intelligence (or rather, the lack thereof).

Third, replace the now broken window with a new one. Notice that you reach your normal base pressure without trouble. Speculate loudly about the base, base nature of your reactor that delights in mocking you. Remember that you used alcohol to clean the surfaces of your reactor in the morning. Muse a bit of the effect of evaporating alcohol on your base pressure. Recognise that ther was no spoon, and certainly no leak. Complain to anybody in the vincinity about how somebody switched your morning dose of caffeine with a double-dose of stupid.

Lastly, notice that everybody in the lab is looking at you with an expression that is a mixture of pity and the expression normally reserved for the clinically insane. Try to salvage the situation (pity is unacceptable!) by cackling loudly, and announcing that your plan for world domination via glas breakage has commenced, with this very window in your hand!


  1. It's monday where you are, isn't it? I've had days very much like this.

  2. Indeed. That's why you shouldn't do any experiments Monday morning. Or Friday evening, for that matter.