First, I had to hunt down, kill and skin those rarest of baby seals: The ones who get colour-sprayed by PETA or Greenpeace, which makes their fur extra valuable, and a pretty colour to boot.
Unfortunately the activists tend to spray only small spots or lines, so you need an ungodly number of baby seals. After skinning them, I approached (with great caution) the sewing machine, she of the pierced fingers. Thankfully my mother agreed to supervise me ("No sew. Slowly. No, not in that direction. Slowly, I said! What are you doing?"), so I could stitch the furs together without major injury on my part. Here is the result:
Nice, isn't it? For future reference, be careful not to hit too hard when clubbing baby seals to death, since getting their blood out of the fur is a bitch.
Here is another shot of the sleeve, closed. I decided not to sew on a Velcro strip, since it stays closed well enough when I tuck the flap in:
Disclaimer: No more than 26 baby seals died a horrible death in the making of this project.
I might have bought the story you told (though not really), until I saw your sleeve. No way that's sealskin and you're desperately short on seams for piecing it together.
ReplyDeletePlus, how hard can it be to get blood out of waterproof fur?
Pfff, obviously you underestimate my mad, mad sewing-skillz, and also the evolutionary adaptation of baby seals, who try to look like terry-cloth to escape the clubbing.
ReplyDeleteAs for the blood, it's hard to get out because, ah, because the fur is waterproof, and not blood-proof, so there! Also, you can't wash it, because it's water-proof. Tadaa!
Wow! That is awesome! And I think we ALL owe you a debt of gratitude, if only for pissing PETA off. But the finished product is mind-blowing. Do carry on.
ReplyDeleteWow, Boris. What a convincing answer!
ReplyDeleteThanks Max!
ReplyDeleteAnd Stephanie - that's why they pay me the big bucks! Oh wait, they don't. Hmmm, I wonder why?